Even though turning the “I” into “We” and “Me” or “You” into “Us” can feel ecstatic, it is still important to maintain an individuality or personal sense of self in relationships.
This is often hard to maintain when we are in new relationships and the other person is all you can think about or who you want to spend all of your time with. However, in order to sustain a healthy loving long-lasting relationship, it is essential we do not lose ourselves in the sea of emotions.
What can losing yourself look like?
Prioritising the needs and wants of another in a continual manner to the point where your own happiness is getting sacrificed
Not being able to maintain personal well-being routines such as exercise, healthy sleeping schedule, etc
Fear of speaking up. This can manifest as hesitance in voicing one’s own needs and desires, letting the other person make all of the decisions (big or small), not being able to express any concerns you might have about the relationship, etc
Listed above is not an exhaustive list of all the ways you may notice you are losing yourself but can be a good beginning point to start checking in with yourself. Losing yourself in relationships can be gradual and non-percievable, it may begin with wanting to show love and care, however it can eventually lead to a habit of persistently priortising others and the relationship over yourself.
What steps can you take to regain the individuality?
Begin by understanding what led you to lose your individuality in the first place. Oftentimes it can indicate a deeper issue such as fear of abandonment. You can spend some time journaling on the following prompt: “What is leading me to choose or priotise them over my ownself?”
Start listing down what needs of yours are currently not being met and how can you start meeting them. Do you need to change your routine? Do you need to communicate your needs with your partner?
Understand and develop healthy boundaries with other people. What do these boundaries look like? What are your personal limitations?
Seek professional help. Losing sense of self can result in feeling lost and confused- so remember, you do not have to do this alone.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Nataliya Bukalsariya is a counselor at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.