The end of a significant relationship is tough for all ages. We tend to be involved very deeply in these relationships and have our identities intertwined with the partner, which leads to making the break up even more painful. Some intense feelings, filled with self-doubt and questions about what happened and how can we move on from such a major loss, keep our minds clouded. Once we gain an understanding of the relationship, we tend to understand ourselves and our partners, helping us to accept the situation and move on from it.

A relationship is one of the most important kinds of life events that help in shaping us and reflects our attachment styles, and how we value our partners. This makes it important to have a good understanding of the workings of a relationship, similarly emphasizing the understanding of the aftermath of the breakup. To gain a deeper and more introspective understanding, here are two basic yet probing questions to help you understand the latter; 

The First question is “How was the relationship?”. While answering this question, try to dig deeper into the functioning of the relationship, how it was, what all it consisted of, what all did it miss, where you did more, where you did less, whether it was in sync with your values or not, was the person the right person or not, and any other types of retrospection you can do. This question will help you to get a clear understanding of what kind of relationship you indulged in, and how it impacted you. 

The Second and Final question is “What did you learn from the relationship?”.

What did you learn about yourself, what you offer in a relationship, your expectations, and values, and how did it contribute to your growth? While searching for the answers to this question, you would be able to know about the various facets of your personality your last relationship opened up for you, how it has contributed to your present self, and how you can enhance yourself before your relationships and reach your higher self. 

These two questions would help you to self-analyze, could make you emotional, but would also help you release any remaining unpleasant emotions. The importance of these questions lies in the empowering ability it provides us to understand, analyze, and accept our valued relationships and help us be mindful of our future relationships. This will help you to hold onto the happy times without them being uncomfortable, and let go of the sad times. This would ultimately leave you with the sense of maturity of handling the breakup, giving room to yourself to grow and advance. 

Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.


MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.

About the Author.

Shreya Sharma is a counselor at can learn more about her by clicking here

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of, the Founders, or management team.

Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.


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