“Sometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe
When things don’t go as planned and when disappointment blooms in your heart, nothing can stop the dismay that takes over. It could be anything. Maybe the relationship you hoped would be THE one, ended or maybe the dream job you wanted didn’t come through. Sometimes things happen and sometimes, things don’t go as you hoped.
No need to feel rejected or dismayed by it though! It’s natural to have such a reaction, but it’s also important to not let that reaction take root in your heart and mind.
While it might be hard to move on from the upset and hurt feelings when things don’t go as planned, there are some quick ways you can learn to cope with the despair.
Here are 6 ways you can respond when things don’t go as you planned or hoped.
What To Do When Things Don’t Go As Planned?
What’s done is done, no need to worry too much about it. With these 6 ways, you can calm your inner turmoil and assuage the disappointment you feel;
1. Acknowledge The Emotions You Feel
You’ve heard the phrase, “When life gives you lemons…” Well, it’s time you make some lemonade. Take the feelings and emotions as they come. Ignoring them will make you feel better but for a short time only. The first step to ease disappointment is to accept that you’re disappointed.
Many emotions can follow when things don’t go as planned including anger, hurt, frustration, and hopelessness. While these are not easy feelings to accept, acknowledging them will allow you to express them as you see fit.
2. Remain Self-Compassionate
Not every hurt can be resolved in a matter of minutes. Sometimes, when you’re upset, it can take some time to heal that wound, no matter the circumstances. During those times, you need to remember to stay self-compassionate. Be kind to yourself because you’ll need all the kindness to process the hurt.
You need to remind yourself that you did the best you could with what you had. It’s OK that things didn’t turn out the way you hoped but still. You can also learn to cope with uncertainties to deal with such circumstances in the future.
3. Find A Healthy Emotional Outlet
Everyone processes and expresses feelings differently. Some people can find talking helps while some may believe in a more physical expression of emotions. Whatever your choice of expression, you need to find a healthy emotional outlet. You can try journaling or speak to someone you trust.
Other things you can try can include dancing, exercising, writing a letter, yelling into a pillow, or having a good cry.
4. Find Solace In Company
Another way to cope with disappointment when things don’t go as planned could be to find solace in the company of your trusted people. Try to consult your support system and ask them for advice on managing the hurt and upset you (or anyone else) feels during these moments.
When you know that others also struggle with the same, it helps you connect with them and learn how to deal with such feelings more healthily. While you may or may not get the help you requested, talking out your feelings will help you feel lighter.
5. Take Responsibility
Some things, you can’t just control and that includes things that don’t go as planned. In some ways, it’s OK to acknowledge your actions and how they didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Mind you, this isn’t like taking all the blame for your disappointment on yourself. It’s taking responsibility for what you did or didn’t do.
It’s accepting that there might be some things you might’ve done differently that you didn’t do. It’s about learning from your mistakes.
6. Seek Professional Support, When Needed
Dwelling on what’s happened will not help you and will only prevent you from accepting the hurt you feel. If your feelings are overpowering and you are unable to function in your day-to-day life, then it could require additional support from a professional.
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A therapist or a counselor can help you come to terms with your feelings and teach you how to accept your mistakes. They can also help you reframe your situation, find peace, move forward, and even express your emotions, healthily.
Here’s What NOT To Do
As I’ve said, ignoring or running away from your emotions can do more harm than good. Instead of doing that, you need to embrace the hurt so that you can move forward without feeling guilty.
Here are some other things you should NOT do when things don’t go as planned;
Don’t blame others (or yourself)
Don’t distract yourself from your emotions
Don’t engage in avoidance habits
Don’t overwork yourself
Don’t be alone with your troubling thoughts
Don’t engage in emotional drinking
When things don’t go as planned or hoped, it’s natural to feel frustrated, angry, guilty, grief, and upset. It could be troublesome and can cause anxiety when you let such feelings take over your mind and heart.
With the above-mentioned ways, you can learn how to cope with these feelings that come when things don’t go as planned.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do in such situations and what NOT to do. For more, you can write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM us on social media.
You can also share your thoughts and tips with us in the comments section below.
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