A long time between posts. I’ve been on HRT for 15 months now. It feels really good. Euphoric would apply.
Today I came out to my friend B. They were so cool. A little but not surprised, a little bit surprised. They were excellent.
I’ve been out with my team – my psychiatrist, my psychologist, my doctor, my endocrinologist, my cardiologist. I really have some doctors. I’m out to my daughter fully, and to my son conceptually but he’s quite a distance away, we haven’t seen each other face-to-face in almost a year. I will see him within the month.
I live in a small town. 700 residents in the summer, 350 across the winter. Some winter in Florida, some go to Pittsburgh. It’s a seasonal tourist town – three restaurants in season, one year-round. It’s not a leading-edge place; it’s a Christian, conservative, red-voter, Fox News town. A lot of guns. Very nice people, but they vote for some quirky politics.
I have not been out widely in the town. I have been out in other cities, in other towns. Today I went out to (in girlMode) a doctor’s appointment, and returned in GirlMode. i think it’s time to start being myself. Time to start presenting as myself. A few friend know I’m queer. That seemed like enough of a word to break the initial news.
I don’t want to rub anybody’s nose in it, don’t want to challenge people unnecessarily, but I’m going to start presenting more as me and not hiding it.
If it goes horribly wrong, if there’s a sense of real community animosity, I am fortunate to be able to move elsewhere. A city.
I so appreciate that B was cool about it.