Ask your partner to get help for your sake and, if he won’t, he may not be able to help you get the most out of the time you have left

The question I’m a gay man and I’ve been with my partner for more than 20 years, I love him deeply and for years we have had a fabulous relationship. However, over the past few years he has become withdrawn and, stopped taking as much care about his appearance – of which he was always very proud. He’s put on weight and complains about literally everything. It’s as if he goes out of his way to pick holes in everything I say or do. He’s never happy in his job, any work he has he complains about. Everything is wrong in the world.

We haven’t had sex in 10 months, though I have made it clear that if ever he would like to sleep in the bed again with me and have sex even better… The door is always open.

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