I’ve met couples who perfectly fit in each other’s space and life and I’ve met couples who, despite being opposite of each other, complement the relationship and make it work. But again, I’ve also met couples who have no common ground, don’t share the same thinking, and yet are in a relationship.
Now, I can tell you that these kinds of relationships are always unhappy because couples like that force themselves to continue the relationship because it is harder to admit that their partner isn’t Mr. or Mrs. Right.
I have a theory about why couples do that; why they keep forcing a relationship that isn’t meant to be. After all, it’s easier to force a relationship than be alone. Or maybe, it’s because Mr. or Mrs. Right Now, checks all their boxes. Or that, they just want to face another failed relationship.
So, when it is, “It’s not you, it’s me.” – I guess it’s none in this case. Chemistry and compatibility in relationships are not always predictable. It’s always challenging to understand what’s the issue. In any case, if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Am I forcing my relationship?”, then you’re at the right place.
Keep reading to understand the signs you’re forcing a relationship and how it leaves an impact on your well-being.
Signs You’re Forcing a Relationship
Love shouldn’t be a chore and if it’s feeling like one, then maybe it’s a sign you’re trying to stay in the relationship even knowing you’re not meant for each other. This is what “forcing a relationship” means too. It means you make yourself love your partner even when you’re unwilling.
This “forced love” can never equate to a happy, loving, and healthy relationship. Here are some telltale or warning signs that you’re forcing a relationship;
1.The Idea of the Relationship is More Fascinating Than the Person
When you want to see if you’re forcing a relationship, then all you need to do is ask yourself, “Is my partner more important than the relationship?” If your answer is “NO” then it’s a sign you’re forcing the relationship. Maybe you were lonely and wanted to experience life with a partner, so you got into one. Again, ask yourself whether you’d choose this person to be your friend even if you weren’t in a relationship with them. Whatever your answer is would help you understand your relationship status.
2.You Walk on Eggshells Around Your Partner
Chemistry, check? Well, there could be chemistry and compatibility, but is it with the real you? Do you find yourself censoring your words and feelings around your partner? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them? If yes, then take it as a sign that you’re not right for each other. Where there is no transparency, there could not be love or trust.
3.The Arguments are Endless
Another sign you’re not right for each other is that you’re constantly arguing, and your disagreements are endless. While it’s OK to have some disagreements in a relationship, when you’re constantly struggling to find common ground, then it could be an indication of something wrong.
See if the communication is two-way. Is there resentment in the relationship? If you struggle to come back from the arguments, then maybe you’re just forcing yourself to stay in the relationship.
4.There Are no Plans For The Future
The idea of tomorrow with your partner might sound fun, but can you see yourself living with them for the rest of your life? Is there anything in the relationship that indicates where the relationship is going? Is there a plan?
If not, then it’s a sign you shouldn’t ignore. Maybe your partner’s the one facing this dilemma or maybe it’s both of you. Whoever it is, if there is no plan, then there is no future for the relationship.
5.You Enjoy Spending Time Apart Than Together
It’s good that you enjoy spending time together. It is fun, after all, to go out on dates, vacations, and hang out with other couples, but if you’re finding yourself spending more time alone and enjoying it than with your partner, then it’s a sign you’re in a forced relationship.
With true love, you can spend time alone and together and never feel alone, but with forced love, spending time together feels heavier than time alone.
6.PDAs Are More Affectionate Than Intimacy in Private
If you’re into public displays of affection, but the intimacy in public feels fake or forced, then take it as a sign that you’re forcing a relationship when it’s not meant to be. The affection you’re showing in public should not be more than you do in private, but if that is the case, then it’s an indication that you’re trying to stay in the relationship even if your heart isn’t in it.
7.Trust is Lost in The Relationship
Trust, respect, and love are the foundations of any relationship and if your relationship with your partner lacks trust, then maybe you’re not in a relationship that is meant to be.
If you’re questioning (or not questioning) your partner’s loyalty, and are dismissive of their insights (or if it’s the other way around), then maybe you’re not right for each other. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive longer and if the trust feels forced too, then reconsider your relationship.
8.You Pretend Loving Your Partner (And So Do They)
Is the attraction real or fake? Are you truly interested in your partner? Or just going along with the farce? Either way, if you’re pretending to be in love or if your partner is, then it’s a sign you’re forcing a relationship. Again, it’s a matter of trust and care. If there is none, then there’s no reason to keep the relationship going. If you feel the spark is gone, then reconsider the relationship.
9.Your Partner Isn’t Your Friend
Who is your partner to you? Are they your lover? Or is there no label you want to give them? Physical chemistry is different from emotional chemistry and safety. If your partner isn’t someone you can laugh around, joke with, or maybe engage in unromantic activities, then it’s a sign you’re probably not meant to be. In a healthy relationship, your partner is your friend as well. Someone you can lean on and someone you can be your true self around.
10.You Both Aren’t on The Same Page
Lastly, a sign that you’re forcing a relationship can be when you and your partner are not on the same page. If you don’t have any shared values, humor, or connection, then the relationship is not meant to last longer. There are times when you disagree on important things and feel like you have to give more than the required effort to make up for the argument. If this is the case, then take it as a sign you’re forcing the relationship.
When you keep forcing a relationship even when it’s not meant to be, it can leave you feeling drained and low on self-esteem. You are not getting the love or the respect you deserve and this can take a toll on how you view yourself as a person. Forcing a relationship can also make you hide your true self and pretend to be someone you’re not.
If you’ve observed these telltale signs in your relationship, then maybe it’s time to reconsider your relationship and how your partner feels about it all. Don’t force a relationship because you deserve more than that.
If you’re still not sure whether you’re forcing a relationship, then you can reach out to a therapist or a couples counselor to know more about what a healthy relationship looks like and how to stop forcing a relationship when it isn’t meant to be.
I hope this article helped you see the signs of a forced relationship and how it can be impacting your well-being. For more, feel free to write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment in the section below.