Yesterday was valentines day and the internet was flooded with many couples across the globe showing off the gifts they had exchanged. Whole time I was thinking ”Damn it’s 11am where’s my man? Why hasn’t he texted me?” and then I remembered ”Oh yeah, I don’t have one.’‘
Many people have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day; some love it, and some ”don’t believe in it.”…whatever that means. Valentine’s Day is perfect for showing a declaration towards your partner. Unless explicitly agreed upon between both parties, anyone in a romantic relationship wants to experience a cheesy lovey dovey day. Yes, you love your partner daily, but on Valentine’s Day, you get to be extra creative in showing how much you love them.
Humans are wired to have a deep longing for physical contact. Our need for physical affection with human beings is rooted in our biology, as touch and close connections with others is of huge importance in our overall well-being, mental health, and survival.
One phenomenon that goes on around this time of the year is that many who are single and crave companionship are told to improve their ”Self Love”, and it’s just not the same. You can love yourself all you want, but the hug you give yourself and the hug you receive from a big, tall, strong man is entirely different. Hello?
It’s okay to crave a romantic connection. It’s completely normal to feel lonely and almost out of place while seeing others get what you desire. What’s not okay is letting it affect your mental health. Loneliness is a global epidemic especially since the pandemic and many people are struggling to build connections.
Self-love is important, but understanding your true feelings can help you figure out what to do when you feel lonely. I also feel lonely at times and I don’t ignore it but acknowledge it. What kind of loneliness are you feeling? Is it because you’re emotional, or because you don’t have many friends around, or because of your current situation? Maybe you need to spend time with your family and friends, or maybe you’re ready for a romantic relationship. It’s okay to admit that you want a boyfriend or girlfriend, or that you’re ready for marriage. Be honest with your feelings. No one knows you better than you know yourself.
As cliche as it may sound, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. Try not to compare your singleness to what you see online; you’d be surprised how many people are miserable in their relationships. You’re there thinking, ”Ugh, they are so cute together; I wish I had that.” The whole time, they are filing for divorce and despise each other but have to keep it up for social media. You don’t know those people.
Do not apologise for wanting to experience a loving relationship and a fun Valentine’s Day. Focus on your wants and needs and go from there and if you so want a romantic connection, who knows, this was possibly your last Valentine’s Day being single.
The right love will come knocking at your door, and I hope you’re ready to receive it with open arms because it will be so worth it.