TW: Mentions of being suicidal. 

Year two of dealing with chronic pain. Since it’s Bone and Joint Week, I thought it seemed timely to update this series, although hEDS isn’t bone related. But whatever. I needed to post this at some point and my joints hurt so this seemed as good a time as ever.

Unfortunately, very little changed during the second year. I was incredibly depressed, to the point where I was periods of being consistently suicidal, so I wasn’t capable of much. But we were also waiting for the Pain Clinic to get in touch as they’d promised to.

This post spans from April 2022 to March 2023.

OCTOBER 2022

After finally getting the referral to the NHS Hydrotherapy Department in December 2021, I tried to work that into my routine to get some exercise, strengthen my painful joints, and just improve my quality of living. It was pretty hit and miss for a while (as my post about it reflects) but around August, I found a pool that allowed me to do all of the assigned exercises and managed to work out a schedule. From that point on, I was going at least twice a week, if not more, and I could really feel the difference.

I wasn’t pain-free by any stretch of the imagination though; I was in enough pain to significantly disrupt my life at least 50% of the time (and a lot of the time it was still there, even if it wasn’t upsetting my day-to-day life). I was getting stronger, with more stability, but still with no word from the Pain Clinic on how to manage or, dear god, get rid of the pain.

Into 2023 and we still hadn’t heard anything. I was working hard at hydro and I could feel the difference – I was stronger and I enjoyed the exercise – but I was still in pain a lot of the time. We’d asked my GP to chase up the Pain Clinic but not heard anything from either of them.