I dread January 16th.

4 years on and it still sucks.

Someone said recently that I should “just move on”. 4 years is a long time after all. I was honestly shocked that someone would say that; blown away really. It’s certainly not something I would ever say to someone about loss. Whether it was meant in a malicious way or not, I’ve taken a long time to think about it.

So let’s talk about it.

Grief is a heavy and overwhelming feeling. We all experience grief in our own way. For some, the first few years after a loved one’s death may be the hardest. The initial shock and numbness may have worn off, and the reality of the loss may start to sink in. However, as time goes on, the intense pain and sadness may start to fade, but it’s important to note that grief is not a linear process. You may have good days and bad days, and sometimes it can feel like you’ve taken a step backward.

For others, it may feel like the pain of the loss never really goes away. The loved one may always be missed, and the thought of them can still bring tears and sadness.

Would you tell someone crying and physically struggling over the loss of a loved one to “just get over it”? Probably not. So why should it be acceptable to say it to someone who is further down the process of grief?

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. It doesn’t matter how long the process is. It doesn’t matter how close the person was to you. Just let the person grieve.

There’s another important reason we can’t just get over the death of a loved one by suicide.

Men’s mental health is an important topic that is often overlooked and stigmatised in our society. Talking about men’s mental health is crucial in order to break the silence and to address the unique challenges that men face when it comes to their mental health.

One of the main reasons why talking about men’s mental health is important is because of the societal expectations and stereotypes that men are often expected to conform to. Men are often perceived as strong, stoic and unemotional, which can make it difficult for them to express their feelings and seek help when they need it. These societal expectations can lead to men bottling up their emotions and not seeking help when they need it, causing a lot of harm to themselves.

Moreover, men’s mental health is important to talk about because it affects not only the individual, but also those around them.

It’s important to note that mental health is not only about the person, but also about the society.

So by moving on, we’re essentially saying that there is nothing wrong with this society. We’re saying it’s okay that these men felt that they had to end their own lives because they couldn’t talk to others about their feelings. We’re demonising our loved ones because of how they died. We’re saying men’s mental health isn’t important.

So no, I won’t just move on.

Mind and The Gap

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