Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an example of a newer therapeutic approach that can be used with clients who are living with a number of different mental health concerns. IFS was developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Schwartz whose work was influenced by psychodynamic psychotherapy, family therapy, person-centered therapy, and experiential therapy. This approach can be used with clients who are living with trauma, anxiety, depression, substance abuse disorders, childhood trauma, low self-esteem, low self-worth, and poor emotion regulation skills. Keep reading to learn 51 IFS Questions to Ask Clients in Therapy.
The lens we use when working with IFS views clients as having different parts within themselves that each has their own purpose. Our different parts can have different perspectives and emotions that influence our behaviors.
View all of our Internal Family Systems Therapy Worksheets
There are three general groups that our different parts fall within. Our core self is an additional part of us that is separate from the following three groupings.
The Exiles are often the younger parts that have become isolated. These parts have often experienced trauma as a result of trying to protect the individual from pain, terror, fear, and other negative experiences. This part can leave an individual feeling vulnerable and as though they may break.
The Managers are the part of an individual who runs their day-to-day life and manages their responsibilities. This part tries to remain in control to protect the individual from experiencing rejection or feeling hurt.While this may sound effective, having any of the three parts work in excess can be harmful for us. Having their core-self being the dominant part is an IFS goal. .
The Fire Fighters refers to the parts of an individual that arise when they need to control or numb feelings. Covering up or hiding negative emotions may provide us with a temporary reprieve from emotional distress, however it does nothing to resolve the root of the concern. Common behaviors observed include drinking and using drugs, self-harm, binge eating, and sex binges. When done in excess, some of these behaviors can develop into substance use disorders and other forms of addiction.
When using IFS, you are working to help clients find balance and harmony within their internal system, also known as becoming a self-led person. This can be done by helping clients access and work to heal their protective and wounded inner parts. Once our clients have a better understanding of their parts, they can develop connectedness between them. Clients are then able to remain calm in stressful situations and respond in ways that they may not have been able to do before. Additionally, all of our parts co-exist in a manner that allows our core-self to be the part that is in control. It is believed that a person’s core-self is perfect as it is, and is capable the way it is.
A benefit of IFS is that it can be used in non-clinical settings such as legal mediation, school administration, life coaches, and religious leaders with the proper training and experience.
Getting Ready for Your First Internal Family Systems Session with a New Client
IFS is not a structured therapy approach which means that there is no deadline or time frame that you would expect from other forms of therapy. This allows you to spend time exploring your clients’ different parts, and moving at a pace that is comfortable for them. With IFS, your initial sessions will primarily focus on learning about your client’s experiences and the different parts of themselves.
Before you meet with your client for the first time, it may be beneficial for you to review any paperwork you have received beforehand, such as self-assessments, screeners, and referral information. From here, you can gather the needed tools and resources that can help facilitate your therapy session.
The language used in IFS may be confusing to your client when it is first introduced so it can be helpful to ask your client if they have any questions or if you can return to any previously discussed topics. The therapeutic relationship is a vital component of this therapeutic approach, so developing a healthy rapport will be a focus during your first few sessions. You want your clients to feel as though you are non-judgemental, compassionate, and accepting of them as they are.
This is a good time to talk about the importance of checking in with yourself. As mental health practitioners, we focus our attention and energy on supporting our clients. Being mindful of our own mental health needs allows us to give our full attention to our clients and provide them with the care and support they need. Regular self-care practices can help us cope with and manage the stressors we experience in our own lives.
Internal Family Systems Questions to Ask Clients
Internal family systems questions can be used to guide the exploration of your client’s different parts and to clarify the meaning of different terms and principles associated with IFS. For experienced clinicians, IFS questions can feel conversational and natural in the progression of their sessions.
Examples of IFS questions that you can use in your sessions include:
What questions do you have for me?
Is there anything we talked about today that you would like to circle back to?
Do you have any lingering questions from our previous session?
What can you tell me about your exiled parts?
What do you feel the function of this part is?
Can you think of anything that your exiled part would like you to know?
Can you tell me about what you feel in your body with that part?
How do you feel about each part of yourself?
Are there any parts that you struggle with?
Which parts do you feel help you?
Can you explain how that part helps you?
How do you think your parts feel about you as a whole?
What comes to mind when I ask you about self-compassion?
What are your thoughts on what self-compassion should look like?
How do you think self-compassion would make you feel?
Do you feel as though you deserve self-compassion?
How can we shift our perspective to look at the specific behavior rather than it as a personal flaw or problem?
How did this part fall into this role?
Where is this part located? As an example, is it within your body or around it?
Is it good in this role?
If it didn’t have this role, what might it be doing instead?
Can you think back to when this part started in this role?
Is this part happy with its role?
Is this part happy with its role?
What age does this part believe you are?
What would you like this part to know?
Is there anything you would like to say to this part?
How does this role interact with the people in your life?
What do you believe this part is trying to do for you?
How does this part influence your actions and behaviors?
If you take a moment to sit and observe yourself, are there any physical sensations, thoughts, or emotions that you notice that you didn’t recognize before?
If I asked you to visualize this part, how would you describe it?
Does this part have any sounds?
Can you think of any examples of perfectionism, people pleasing, overachieving, or care-taking in your behaviors?
Do you find yourself worrying about abandonment because you feel as though you’re too much or not good enough?
Can you tell me about any experience with binge eating, misuse of substances, and anger difficulties in your life?
Can you tell me about any shame, fear, or loneliness that you are experiencing?
Has there been a time in your life when you felt as though you were capable of taking care of yourself?
You may use this last group of questions with the Exploring Self Using 8 C’s Worksheet available at TherapyByPro.
Can you tell me what curiosity means to you?
How do you practice curiosity in your life?
What does connectedness mean to you?
Can you share an example of connectedness in your life?
How would you describe confidence?
Do you feel as though you are a confident person? If not, can you think of a time when you were?
What do you feel compassion is?
Can you tell me how you show compassion to yourself and others in your life?
Are there any areas in your life where you can be creative?
What would having clarity in your life look like?
Can you tell me about a time when you were courageous?
What would calmness in your life look like?
Final Thoughts on Asking the Right Questions in Internal Family Systems
Thank you for taking the time to read our list of Internal Family Systems questions, we hope you found it informative! As with any therapeutic approach, it is important to be mindful of the questions that we ask, and how we ask them. As we mentioned earlier, the therapeutic relationship is an important component when using this therapeutic approach. Using the right IFS questions at the right time can reinforce your relationship with your client.
If you have found yourself interested in learning more about IFS, you are not alone! The popularity of IFS training programs is growing, so you may encounter a waitlist for some of the training opportunities. To learn more about training and certification for internal family systems, we encourage you to visit the IFS Institute website.
TherapyByPro is an online mental health directory that connects mental health pros with clients in need. If you’re a mental health professional, you can Join our community and add your practice listing here. We have assessments, practice forms, and worksheet templates mental health professionals can use to streamline their practice. View all of our mental health worksheets here.
View all of our Internal Family Systems Therapy Worksheets
Resources:
The Internal Family Systems Model Outline. IFS Institute. (n.d.). https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline
The post 51 IFS Questions to Ask Clients in Therapy Sessions appeared first on TherapyByPro.