Filler Blog
I think one of the saddest things in life is wanting to be loved right by the person you love the most. As a hopeless romantic it’s ten times more painful.
It’s hard to see the truth in an unhappy relationship. I thought crying every day was normal because I didn’t get the desired affection I repeatedly mentioned. I felt that practically begging to spend time together was okay. I thought bringing up the same problem was normal. All in the name of ”Love”.
What is love?
”True love is a unique and passionate bond that connects you as a couple that wants the best for the other person regardless of what that means for them. It is the foundation for a healthy, loving relationship. True love is authentic and genuine.”
Love is one of the most incredible emotions/ feelings in the world. I love to give and receive love, romantically or platonically. I mean, what better to hear than ”I love you” from someone you genuinely care about and care about you? I tell my friends I love them almost daily; they are probably sick of it. Still, I can’t help but be affectionate because I want them to know they are truly loved and appreciated. In fact, let me text my girls right now.
What should love feel like in a relationship?
Love is a beautiful feeling that brings peace and comfort to our lives. Perhaps I have been influenced by the heartfelt stories portrayed in Korean Dramas, but I firmly believe that love should provide us with the reassurance that our loved ones will always be there for us. I understand that no one can be available 24/7 like the feds (police), but knowing that they will make an effort to be there for us as soon as possible is what truly matters. Love should never cause us distress or anxiety; instead, it should create a safe haven where we can find solace and tranquility.
Your person should be the one to hold you and wipe your tears when you are sad and not cause them. You shouldn’t have to make excuses for them either. That’s when it becomes toxic and remember, even toxins can be addictive.
I was by far at the lowest and saddest I ever felt. I cried more than I smiled in that relationship. I, unfortunately, stayed for the longest because who wants to start over with someone new? I would rather have stayed with my so-called person and hoped they would be the person I want and deserve and made things work.
There comes a point where you look at your tear-filled eyes in the mirror, hold your hand over your aching heart and say ”I deserve to be happy” The type of pain I endured would have someone praying to the God they always denied.
Everyone has an inner child and more than half of the population needs to heal their inner child. There was a time my partner at the time hurt my feelings so bad, that not only was I upset but my inner child felt sad, rejected and heartbroken. I cried so much I almost burst an ear drum.
It gets worse but lets just…
I once said to my partner at the time ”Why do you keep breaking my heart?” and they said ”I am not. You’re breaking your own heart” and I couldn’t agree more.
I allowed myself to be disrespected, I made excuses for them because I believed in them, I believed if I gave them a millionth chance things would be different. I completely shattered and lost myself and when I think about it I can’t believe just how much I endured just for the sake of life. Utter unhappiness and despair.
We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.
All I ever desired at the time was to feel loved and appreciated. I remember crying to my best-friend to say ”Why can’t I be loved right?” All I ever wanted was companionship, a safe place and a person to call my home. Aside from the physical and materialistic things, I desired to be loved the way I love and I know I’ll get it some day but I am in no rush for it either.
As mentioned before, I am a hopeless romantic just because I don’t get it now doesn’t mean I won’t get it later. I see how I love, I look forward to the simple things like being held and told I’m loved. I would never ask for the moon but I now know I deserve the entire universe.
I’ve felt how good it feels to love others I love love and of course I will have my person some day. (God please maybe today or tomorrow would be great but you know, no rush.)
There are a lot of important things in life like paying bills (ew) family, friends etc but I truly believe everyone deserves to be loved correctly. Openly and authentically.
You are deserving of love and affection. You deserve to be loved.
I am worthy of love and deserve to be cherished. I deserve to be loved.