So today my hometown of Brighton is celebrating Pride and, as the gay capital of the UK, we go very hard for Pride. There’s the parade, the festival in the park (which sounds really fun but I live really close to the park so I’m basically at the festival all weekend whether I want to be or not – the constant music is A LOT after a while), as well as the hundreds of events going on all over the city. The big celebrations are too much for me as an autistic person but I’ve been to some great smaller celebrations and, in general, the city (and all of our visitors – the trains and roads are absolutely packed) has a great time every year.

I wasn’t sure what to write for this post, if I’m honest. I’m still figuring out who I am – I guess that’s what happens when you spend your teenage years and twenties trying to manage and understand both your physical and mental health – so I don’t feel ready to write about that and although I’m so massively proud of my incredibly LGBTQ family, I haven’t figured out how to write about it yet.

So I thought I’d go looking for quotes that describe or relate to growing up in an LGBTQ family…

“DNA doesn’t make a family.” – Unknown

“I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching, they are your family.” – Jim Butcher

“Family is not defined by our genes, it is built and maintained through love.” – Unknown

“Blood doesn’t always make a parent; being a parent comes from the heart.” – Unknown

“Blood makes you related; love makes you family.” – Unknown

“Family isn’t defined by last names or by blood; it’s defined by commitment and by love.” – Dave Willis

“Some families are created in different ways but are still in every way a family.” – Unknown

“The last names may not match, but the hearts certainly do.” – Unknown

“Families don’t have to match. You don’t have to look like someone else to love them.” – Leigh Anne Tuohy

“Blended families are woven together by choice, strengthened by love, tested by everything and each are uniquely ours.” – Unknown

“Children can never have too many positive adult role models in their lives.” – Unknown

“I am who I am because of the people who influenced me growing up, and many of them were gay. No one has any right to tell anyone what makes a family.” – Drew Barrymore

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” – George Santayana

There really aren’t that many quotes, specifically about LGBTQ families; there are slightly more about multiple families that blend because of divorce and remarriage. Honestly, I didn’t expect a flood of them, but I did expect more than this. I didn’t find any quotes that came even close to describing my family – beyond generalised quotes about family being about love rather than being related – but then it is very unconventional. I’ve never met or even heard of a family as complex as mine. I like to refer to it as a constellation because it’s beautiful and unique and special and a really weird shape. Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to have grown up in a conventional straight family but it’s only ever a passing curiosity. I love it, for all it’s quirks, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.