By Kimberly Quinlan
One of the most common questions I am asked as a trained OCD therapist is, “How do I let go of my OCD thoughts?” This question often comes from a place of frustration and exhaustion, given the intrusive nature of OCD.
People with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) experience painful, repetitive, intrusive thoughts and persistent worries that can significantly impact daily life. The relentless nature of OCD can be overwhelming. But with the right strategies, it is possible to overcome this disorder that affects millions. In this article, we will explore how to “let go” of OCD, emphasizing effective techniques and practical steps to help you break free from the grip of OCD and live a more fulfilling life.
But first, let’s make sure we understand what OCD is.
OCD is a mental health condition characterized by recurring, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (known as compulsions). These thoughts can be distressing and cause significant anxiety or discomfort.
The key characteristics of OCD include:
Intrusive thoughts: OCD involves persistent and unwanted thoughts, feelings, images, or urges that intrude into an individual’s consciousness. These thoughts can be irrational, disturbing, and not in your control. In addition, they are intrusive, which means you cannot stop them when they come. Commonly, these intrusive thoughts go against our values and beliefs, making them even more painful and confusing.
Compulsive behaviors: Individuals with OCD engage in repetitive behaviors or mental acts, known as compulsions, in response to their obsessions. These compulsions are aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing a feared outcome. Common compulsions involve physical actions, avoidance, reassurance seeking, self-punishment, and mental compulsions. Mental compulsions include rumination, checking, and review.
Overwhelming uncertainty: OCD is often driven by a strong need for certainty and an aversion to uncertainty. Individuals with OCD may engage in thoughts suppression and time-consuming compulsions to alleviate uncertainty.
Interference with daily life: OCD can significantly interfere with an individual’s daily functioning, relationships, and overall well-being. The time-consuming obsessions and compulsions can disrupt daily routines and lead to difficulties in work, school, and social activities.
Doubt that one actually has OCD: It is widespread for people with OCD to doubt that they have OCD. This is not because they do not meet the criteria for the diagnosis. Instead, the doubt is related to fear that their intrusive thoughts, uncertainty, and anxiety actually do mean something about themselves.
Now that we understand the true nature of OCD, let’s address how to let go of OCD thoughts.
When people with OCD ask me, “How do I let go of my OCD thoughts?”, my first response is to inquire exactly what they mean by “let go.”
Are they asking me how to stop having intrusive thoughts?
Are they asking how to not let the thoughts bother them anymore?
Are they asking this question to determine how to better respond to intrusive thoughts and be less reactive to them, no matter how strong they come?
This intention check can help us to determine how to move forward.
Does preventing and stopping intrusive thoughts work?
Based on what we know about OCD, the goal of no longer having intrusive thoughts is most likely to cause more problems. Trying NOT to have intrusive thoughts, an action called thoughts suppression, will make the thoughts stronger.
Thought suppression is the conscious effort to intentionally push away or suppress unwanted thoughts or mental images. In the context of OCD, individuals often attempt to suppress obsessive thoughts or intrusive images because they find them distressing and inconsistent with their beliefs or values. However, research has shown that thought suppression is not an effective strategy and can exacerbate the symptoms of OCD.
When individuals with OCD try to suppress their intrusive thoughts, it tends to have a paradoxical effect. The more they try to push the thoughts away, the more persistent and intrusive they become. This phenomenon is known as the “rebound effect” of thought suppression. The brain interprets actively avoiding or suppressing a thought as a signal that the thought is important or threatening, leading to an increased preoccupation with that thought.
Furthermore, thought suppression requires constant mental effort and monitoring, which can be mentally exhausting and occupy significant cognitive resources. This, in turn, can further increase anxiety and distress as individuals become hyper-focused on the very thoughts they are trying to suppress. It becomes a vicious cycle where the more one tries to stop thoughts, the more they persist and intensify.
How can I make these thoughts not bother me anymore?
If you ask how to let go of OCD thoughts with the intention of not letting the thoughts bother you anymore, you may also find yourself in a little bit of a bind. I know personally that trying to “not be bothered” by my intrusive thoughts or feelings almost always make it so much harder to manage.
As you may remember from the explanation of OCD symptoms, we cannot control our thoughts. It is common for our thoughts to go completely against our values and beliefs. Given that obsessions come so repetitively and with such force, we can understand why these thoughts bother you so much. Asking yourself to “just let go” of these thoughts might increase your experience of frustration and self-judgment because if it were that easy, it would have worked already.
So what’s the answer? Let’s talk about how to let go of OCD thoughts in a way that moves you closer to recovery.
How to effectively manage intrusive thoughts
When managing OCD, the real goal is to change your reaction to the thoughts. Instead of trying to get them to go away, you can use science-based skills to help get your life back from OCD.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), specifically a form called exposure and response prevention (ERP), is considered the most effective evidence-based treatment for OCD. ERP gradually exposes individuals to situations, thoughts, or objects that trigger their obsessions while preventing the accompanying compulsive behaviors or rituals.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
The primary goal of ERP is to help individuals allow their intrusive thoughts and anxiety without resorting to the usual compulsions. By repeatedly allowing thoughts to come and go and facing the things that trigger these thoughts, feelings, images, and urges, individuals with OCD learn that their intrusive thoughts are NOT important and do not require us to do anything except accept their presence and go on with our days.
The success of ERP lies in its evidence-based approach, which has been extensively researched and proven effective in numerous clinical trials. Research has consistently shown that ERP significantly reduces OCD symptoms, decreases distress, and improves overall functioning. It is typically delivered in a structured, therapist-guided format over a period of several weeks or months.
In addition to ERP, other therapeutic approaches such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) may also be incorporated into treatment plans for OCD. These therapies aim to address specific cognitive biases, enhance self-compassion, and get you back to engaging in what you value instead of trying to suppress or “get rid of thoughts.”
Medication can also help manage OCD symptoms, particularly in conjunction with CBT. Medication may be prescribed by a psychiatrist to complement therapy, especially in cases where symptoms are severe or when treatment alone is insufficient.
Skills to manage OCD thoughts
If you struggle to stay engaged in your daily life because of intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, images, or urges, try these skills and see if they help you. Remember, as you practice these, you will notice that the thoughts keep returning. This is completely normal and to be expected. The goal is NOT to get the thoughts to go away or to figure out why you are having them. Instead, we can put our attention on changing how we react so that we are not reinforcing these thoughts in our minds.
Acknowledge that you are having thoughts and that the presence of a thought does not mean the thought is important.
Take a non-judgmental approach to the thoughts by not giving them meaning. Instead, just note them as “thoughts” and try not to assign value to them.
Recognize that thoughts are not facts. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, even people without OCD, and they are not evidence of danger.
Once you note the thought, practice just allowing it to be here. You might even say, “Oh, hi, thought! I see you are here. Welcome!”
Practice setting limits with your OCD. You can do this by telling your OCD that you are not going to solve the thoughts you are having. For example, you might say to yourself, “Kimberley, we are not going to solve this one today. Every time I try and solve it, I grow my OCD. Instead, I am going to move on with my day!” Research shows that using your name as the third person is a powerful way to stay committed and motivated for change.
Stay present. Try to put your attention on your surroundings instead of your thoughts. What do you see? What do you hear? How many triangles do you see, for example?
And lastly, GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE! Do not let OCD stop you from doing the things you love. If you used to love art, go and take an art class. If you used to enjoy taking walks before OCD hit, get back to taking a short stroll around the block.
Remember, small changes lead to BIG changes. The next time you are wondering how to let go of OCD thoughts, put your energy into engaging in skills and practices that stop the cycle of OCD and get you back to the life you want to live.
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